More autumn

So beautiful it hurts. I love autumn.
Sigge has the best little teeth (a total of 2).
Fast food for tired mothers - all kids ate well, Martin was in bed and I didn't have to smell anything offensive with a sore belly.
Sunday night and lots of variations of nighties. Kids washed, fed, run off. All ready for a new week.

Some years ago we met a family on one of our holidays, they had twins that were four years old and a six year old and these lovely lively kids always pulled in opposite directions - like a triangle. We started talking at the dinner - the father was caught in between the twins and begged his uninterested six year old to get some help. The parents were fantastic, smiling ad happy and cool with all these energetic kids. Viktor was extra Rainman that holiday and wouldn't eat anything but olives and cucumber - for two weeks. Standing by the Great Barrier Reef we were talking parental strategies and this cool family swore by smiling, laughing and loving each other a lot - especially during tough times. Such a winning concept!

I often think of them at challenging times and the good thing about having had kids for a good ten years is that I know this awful time of infection upon infection upon infection will eventually finish and life will go back to normal. Until then I try to smile a lot, laugh at least once a day and love everybody a lot. Walking through Stockholm to Viktor's school helps. Today Sigge starting singing to St Mattew's passion and it was wonderful.

Crisp autumn air

Hagaparken is one of my best places in Stockholm. Five minutes away we have the perfect mix of city life and a possibility to get out and smell some soil.
Cara and Viktor are somewhere in the darkness ahead. It is good to have a nearby park where they can bike.
Our little beach was deserted. Should have gone for a dip to wake up!
Cara didn't want to come along for the ride and then she couldn't stop smiling.
Wonderful late autumn sun, cold and clear and sharp. Sigge having wonderful conversation with my sis.
Cara and Viktor ventured down the slope and only fell a little bit. The pictures doesn't really make the slope justice - like Dead Poets Society but with a better view.
every outing is an adventure, here we found that they are rebuilding the path through the park and had to improvise. Viktor thought the prospect of spending a night in the woods exciting, and pointed out the survival advantage in bringing a milk-cow (me) along.

Beyond tired. Infection after infection after infection and lots of wake-up calls in the night. Sigge is developing - with a cold - and sleep is scanty. Viktor is happy to start his day at 5 am, pretending to be Jack Sparrow and duelling invisible fiends all over the flat. Cara has complex social interactions and need complex advice. And I am exhausted, just want to hide in bed for a month or two. But I managed to go to a friends seminar and bumped into one of my ex-supervisors and that reminded me that I am now doing what we talked about in 2005 - it all worked out to be the best possible scenario so I feel extremely unthankful and spoiled when I complain. It is just that I am so very tired at the moment and it would be good with a back-up system. Martin is no better off, haven't seen him for a few days, he isolated himself in the green room with civilization waiting for the cold to pass.

To kick-start myself I dragged the kids and my sister out for an autumn walk - and it worked. Scandinavian crisp, cold autumn air and colors and a little bit of exercise was just what we needed. Might sneak out for a swim tomorrow, think an hour or two on my own with no obligations would be good. The sweetness of summer disappeared into the demands of autumn and it is all very fine as long as we are well but sleep deprivation in combination with colds is awful. Next week might be better!

ten years of parenthood

Cara turned ten - we celebrated with meat - half a cow or so - chocolate cake and time together - Cara brought a friend home after school and will take a couple of friends bowling eventually. No parties this year - the Halloween disco we talked about is not on anymore and we are a little thankful - our evenings are booked out as is. As for who Cara is at the moment - it changes daily and there is no way knowing who she will become eventually. The best chance to get a glimpse of her mind is to go through my photobooth - a couple displayed. Cara has grown a lot lately and it is a privilege to be part of this phase of transition.

Martin and I talked about the first night with Cara, ten years ago, when she was just born, sleeping between us in our double bed and suddenly there were three of us. And we had no idea how to behave with this new being or how life would change. It was sweet to conclude that things turned out good.

Time flies....

Cara is always ready to help wean Sigge - he gets to eat the most unlikely things. Lemon wasn't really his thing. Chocolate ice-cream and pasta with tomato sauce would top his wish list at the moment...

...and our little buberle is already 6 months old, sits up, grabs toys, food and whatever we leave within reach all by himself, pass everything from one hand to the other to the mouth.

The boy has his first cold conciding with new teeth (we think) and it is not pleasant. At the moment he is fast asleep on the floor.

random pictures

Busy days

The most beautiful bride and in many ways my first baby.

Things are good - just busy. Last week-end Martin and I left the kids with my sister and went to Ambra's wedding - I used to look after Ambra some 24 years ago and we always liked each other a lot. Nowadays my kids adore her and her husband Christoffer - they live close and are in many aspects the definition of cool in our lives, only partly due to the fantastic parties they arrange - next up is Halloween. Martin and I had lots of fun at the wedding and Sunday was spent recovering. Gosh we are old! And Cara spent Friday afternoon hanging out at Ambra and Chris' place reading alternative magazines, watching star trek, cooking and eating. Somehow the extended family is really working out. And right now Viktor is downstairs for the first time playing with a little boy in the house. Life is good here at the moment.

Viktor is a proud schoolboy. Cara is developing integrity and independence. Sigge is growing exponentially and is a pure delight. But I am tired - Siggis had his second vaccination on Tuesday, developed a pretty brutal response and had swollen, tender thighs and a fever for a good three days - not sure what they use for adjuvants but I think they might be overdoing it a little. With that Sigge kept waking up through the nights and Martin is wonderful in all ways but somehow I do the nights better - and I was working in the clinic and at the Psoriasis association and trying to fix some things in the lab Wed-Fri. With a cold. I was getting a little stressed over my work situation - and then it dawned on me that I have another 30 years to work - this week will not matter too much. Don't think I have pictures of the kids to share - will look for them later.

autumn air

Mornings are getting crisp and cold, just a matter of time until the trees turns red and autumn is here. I love this time of the year, time for work to start up properly, long dark evenings with a good book and tea and candles, autumn clothes and autumn food. Sigges first autumn. Life is a little confusing at the moment - we need to get into a new rhythm but I am not sure if 25% in the clinic, 25% in the lab and 50% with Sigge is going to be very harmonic - somehow I always seem to be in the wrong place. The first milky haze is over though and I always think clearer in the autumn, wonder if it has anything to do with the crispness of the air.

I look at pictures from this summer and it has been one of the best summers this far - but it is also nice it is coming to an end. And now I need to write a few applications - five kids here on a Saturday night and only one of them asleep my chances of working are unknown.